Day 11: Why do you believe that you have this illness? Bad luck? A Higher power? Something else?
Disclaimer: I apologize that today’s entry is going to to be short. I am tired, spoonless, and experiencing a flare up in asthma at the moment. I also apologize if the content that follows offends anyone. These are my inner thoughts, and current beliefs. My intention of this blog is to be open and honest, not to question other peoples beliefs. To post anything that deviates from the following would be dishonest. Thanks!
To me this is not a matter of faith. I wont say that I do not believe in a higher power, I just simply do not know what I believe in. I want to believe in a higher power. It’s simple. It gives life and death meaning. It’s comforting. But at the say time, it’s hard for me to understand my life and health in terms of faith. It’s hard for me to accept that this is all just a test. I do not say this to offend anyone. Am I saying that I flat out don’t believe in God or a higher power? No. I’m just saying I feel lost and confused at this point in my life.
So that leads us back to the question: Why do bad things happen to good people? Getting sick, injured or just having general bad luck is just part of the natural progression of life. Life, nature, and luck do not discriminate between good and bad people. It can happen to anyone, for any reason, at any time. Why it happened to me? I don’t know. I don’t know if there even is a reason that it happened to me, but it did. I prefer not to spend too much time thinking about why this happened to me. It happened, and there is not changing that.
Lots of love,